Contradictions of the INFJ Personality Type!

I thought I would write a post today about something I find super interesting – the Myers Briggs personality test! It involves answering a number of questions to determine what kind of personality type you are.

There’s been a lot of research on this so it’s more than just your average Buzzfeed quiz (although I do really love Buzzfeed quizzes). Ever since I came across it, I’ve found it to be so accurate, for both my own personality and in terms of people I know. It is easy to be mistyped and end up with a personality that is not true for you, but once you’ve got the correct one, it feels like you’re reading a diary entry from inside your brain that’s been broadcasted all over the internet for everyone to see. It really did blow my mind.

The main reason why I love this personality test is because it’s a great way to accept and understand yourself, but also learn to tolerate and understand other people too. Not everyone is the same as you and sometimes knowing the intentions behind someone’s actions can be reassuring and enlightening.

As the title suggests, I am an INFJ. I thought it would be interesting to share the paradox that is this personality type because I often feel like I’m the most confusing person – even to myself. If you’re an INFJ, it’s likely you’ll relate. If you’re not, maybe it’ll help you understand an INFJ friend.

You can check out my other blog post, where two INFJ’s compare their lives, here.


I’m social yet antisocial at the same time

This is definitely the most confusing aspect of me. I’m the kind of person you can find in bed at home watching a movie with a hot chocolate and refusing to leave the house, but I’m also the kind of person who will join lots of clubs to meet new people and make friends. I seem to jump from one end straight to the other, socialising when I feel energetic and motivated and then “recovering” by removing myself from people for a day.


I’m an extroverted introvert

There’s no denying that I’m an introvert – I can easily go hours without talking to anyone and socialising tires me out – but it seems that with some people I do mould into an extrovert. When I’m around people I’m close with, they see a more outgoing side of me because I don’t need to be fearful of holding anything back – I trust them. I also have moments of being an extrovert when it comes to meeting new people – initiating conversations, asking questions – but it all depends on my mood. If I’m speaking to an extrovert I automatically take backseat, especially when I’m drowned out by a group of extroverts, but if I’m speaking to a quiet introvert I somehow evolve into an extrovert to make up for the role. Sometimes I even confuse myself with how I can be outgoing one minute and quiet the next. I think it confuses people because those who see me as quiet are surprised when I’m chatty, and those who see me as chatty are surprised when I’m quiet. I guess I’m just very selective with who I am social with – some people I could socialise with for hours or days and not get drained, whereas others I have to take a time out.


I hate attention yet I want to be seen

I absolutely hate attention. At school, my friends used to try and convince me to wear a badge on my birthday so everyone would know, but I refused to. If you start to sing happy birthday to me in a restaurant, I would probably run out the room. The idea of someone staring at me too long just freaks me out. And yet at the same time, I want for people to see and understand me. I try and explain myself a lot (for fear of being misunderstood as someone that I’m not), but sometimes I just want people to pay attention and understand/appreciate my perspective.


I’m happy but I’m sad

I feel like my whole life has been me trying to make sense of the happiness and sadness in my brain. I can honestly say that right now in my life is the happiest I’ve ever been, but despite this, I still always feel this inner nudging of sadness that seems to spill over the edges at any given time. And sometimes it even seems like I want it to, as if I want to feel it to know it’s still there. And I don’t understand it. I can be happy all the time and yet as soon as I go for a walk in the dark I’m whipping out the sad music and living in my own little world for a while. It’s a weird comfort. I’ve always been drawn to sadness, even when I’m happy – in music, in films, in TV shows – and I can never really explain why, except that it’s just real.


I help others but I don’t help myself

This has honestly been such a huge downfall in my life. I’ve always put other people first – going out of my way to give advice, to be a shoulder to cry on, to do anything I can to make people feel just a slightly bit better – and my own mind and body was neglected a lot during this process. It is only now that I’m beginning to change this. Why should someone listen to my advice if I don’t even follow my own advice? This may be an INFJ contradiction but it is one of the few contradictions that I can actually change.


I seem calm but inside I’m a storm

When you imagine an anxious person you may think of someone tapping their foot or pacing the room or sweating profusely. Sometimes, the times I am most anxious I am completely still – you wouldn’t even know. I think this is what makes it so hard for me to open up sometimes, because it may seem like I’m pretending since I seem so “together”, but I just have an inner world that is so much more alive than what is perceived from the outside.


So that’s a bit of insight into the life of an INFJ!

I’d love to know what personality type you are – comment below!

And you can find me on social media here:

Instagram: @mymindspeaksaloud

Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud

22 thoughts on “Contradictions of the INFJ Personality Type!

  1. I feel like quite a few of these are true of me too. As an INFP, I’m not too far from the INFJ (with only one letter apart) so it makes sense. I always feel like my personality is contradicting itself. I crave social interaction so much but, when I finally have it, I want to run away and hide!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love how you point out that personality tests also gives you both the opportunity to reflect on your qualities and help you accept other people’s personalities. I’m also an INFJ, and I totally relate to a lot of what you said! I’m really good at one-on-one conversations, but as soon as you put me in a group I sorta check out… 😆 I also agree with looking calm on the outside but being a storm of thoughts, ideas, & emotions on the inside.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Aw cool! That explains why I find your blog posts so interesting! We have a similar way of thinking about things and expressing our ideas to the world (: and yeah I know what you mean! The only groups I work well in are if I’m close with each person on an individual basis as well.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so true, it’s crazy how there can be so many different sides to the same person. I feel as if the way I am definitely depends on the situation…but I love finding people that bring out the best side of my personality 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah it’s definitely something that takes time, growth and confidence to love. Despite the down sides, I wouldn’t change my personality to anything else 😊 I hope you learn to love it too


  4. This was great! INFJ is one of my favorite personality types. I believe the main thing INFJs have to work on is listening to their own intuition more, and doing things for themselves more often. You guys worry so much about others’ well-being that you tend to neglect yourselves. It’s both a blessing and a curse, but it’s what makes you amazing people!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw thank you! Yes it’s difficult to follow intuition sometimes when it doesn’t feel like a fact and you can’t physically show someone any proof! i used to be awful at self care but I am definitely getting better at it. Creating boundaries is hard!


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