Celebrities are Allowed to be Upset [Rant]

Over the last few days, I keep seeing posts around social media about a particular celebrity crying over the coronavirus and everyone telling them they need to get a grip because they have all the money in the world and I just want to say –

No. That’s not how it works.

Just because you have money doesn’t mean you’re intrinsically happy. Just because you have privileges someone else doesn’t, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to suffer.

Yes, celebrities are not on the same scale as other people. They can use that money to help themselves if they choose to – therapy, exercise classes, etc. but none of this makes them immune to human emotion. You can be rich but feel alone. You can be rich but feel like you don’t deserve anything around you. There’s no rule that says money solves all your problems – it may solve your external problems, but it certainly doesn’t solve your internal.

So, I just think it’s ridiculous that people are making someone feel bad for feeling bad. How does that help anyone?

The act of someone putting their sadness on social media is another matter in itself – to some it’s attention seeking and to others it’s just someone being real with their followers. But either way, if the emotion is real, it shouldn’t matter what background that person has. At the end of the day, it’s a sad person. And if you didn’t know someone’s background and you heard they were sad, surely you’d want to help them, not hurt them.

I’m not quite sure how people will respond to this, but I just think it’s a very interesting topic, one that I feel strongly about, so I had to share my thoughts.

Feel free to share your thoughts too below. But remember to be kind!

My Views on Body Image

To end Mental Health Awareness week, I wanted to write a more freeing post on my views on body image. There might be a bit of ranting and some personal stuff thrown in, but I think it’s important to share your opinion to help change people’s perspectives.

I feel like there’s so much out there that focuses on “the perfect body image” – there’s no denying this. It’s all over the media and the internet and advertisements. There’s no escaping it. I hate that the world has come to believe that someone should look a certain way, as if personalities are not important at all. Phrases are thrown around like “oh she shouldn’t be wearing that when she’s so overweight” and it makes me so mad because who decided there had to be a set of criteria for a body to wear anything? Everyone is always saying “don’t care about what anyone else thinks” and yet when people who may be considered overweight wear what makes them feel happy and confident, other people judge it and make them feel like they need to fit their rules of “appropriate clothing”. This means that they end up wearing clothes based on what they know other people will deem acceptable, rather than what they honestly want to wear themselves. And this is not okay.

It is understandable that people want others to be healthy and this is why they advise people to lose weight etc. but there is definitely a limit to what constitutes genuine, kind advice and full on abuse. I think that the person whose body it is has a choice and if they want to be healthy they can be healthy and if they choose not to then that’s okay too, as long as they’re willing to take the consequences. You can’t decide that someone else should be a certain way – they make that decision.

There are many people out there that don’t love their body and it’s easy to think that all of these people fit the stereotypical overweight person, but this is totally not the case. In my personal experience, I’ve always been super skinny and I used to always feel really self-conscious about myself. People would make remarks like “wow, your legs are so thin” but I never really took it as a compliment because I thought, if I was just an average weight, then surely no one would comment at all? Sometimes I tried to put on more weight but because of my high metabolism, nothing ever made an effect. When I was around 14/15 years old a teacher sat me down and asked me what I ate for each meal every day. I know they had good intentions, but it made me feel really bad about myself. I knew they thought I was starving myself but in reality I was eating totally fine. I went home and looked in the mirror and thought: do I really look that bad that someone had to ask me that?

Now, I don’t feel nearly as bad about myself. I still have days when I dislike certain parts of my body but I know that I’m at a healthy weight now and I shouldn’t worry about it. The thing is, no one else notices your insecurities but you always notice yourself. And so you should focus on other people’s perceptions of you. They don’t care about what you look like because a) they’re too busy worrying about how they look themselves and b) they only care about your personality and the way you’re interacting with them.

With this in mind, I really want to reiterate how body image does not matter. The world makes it into something that should matter through media and stereotypical remarks, but it does not. It’s good to remind yourself of this every time you look in the mirror. You are so much more than what you look like and you are so much more than what you think of yourself. 

You can view my other posts for Mental Health Awareness Week here:

How Would You Define Anxiety?

help me see the real me. [poem]

How Would You Define Anxiety?

I have recently finished reading How to Survive the End of the World by Aaron Gillies (@technicallyron) which gave a really interesting insight into dealing with anxiety. Whilst researching for the book, he asked various people “How would you define anxiety?” At the end, he asks the reader to write their definitions in the front of their edition of the book.

I think this is such a super interesting question because people explain it in different ways. Here are some definitions that I’ve come up with, based on my personal experiences. Please feel free to share yours in the comments.

Anxiety is worrying excessively over something that you know is completely irrational, and yet your body won’t listen.

Anxiety is the fight between needing to escape and wanting to stay – escaping the panic but afraid of being left alone to think.

Anxiety is feeling like the edges of the world are the sphere of your skull; everyone else is on another planet that you can’t quite escape to.

Anxiety is the worm at the back of your mind; sometimes it’s buried within the apple and you can pretend it’s not there, but when it comes back up you can’t help but notice.

Anxiety is sitting out a blazing fight inside your head whilst seemingly calm on the outside.

Anxiety is pretending to be confident so much that others eventually believe you, but you know you can never believe it yourself.

Anxiety is waiting for the next train and it being delayed and rushing to another platform and rushing back to the previous platform and then finding out there were no trains after all and it was all pointless. You could have taken a taxi but your mind doesn’t like the easy route.

Anxiety is smiling and crying at the same time. No one else notices and sometimes you don’t even notice yourself.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week so I thought it was a good time to share these thoughts. I’m feeling great at the moment and a lot happier than I was a year ago so I really wanted to share this post to help those who may be in the place I was last year. If you feel like these relate to you, it may be worth considering talking to someone about it – whether that is a family member, a friend, or a doctor. It’s not a weakness to put your hands up and say “hey, this sounds like me”. These words define anxiety, but they don’t define you.

You can view my other posts for Mental Health Awareness week here:

help me see the real me. [poem]

My Views on Body Image

Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud

Instagram: @mymindspeaksaloud

I’ve got Twitter!

Finally, I have decided to join majority of bloggers here by creating a Twitter account! Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing and am scared this is going to be a total waste of time, but hey, worth a shot right?

I’d love to connect with as many of you on there as possible so please leave your usernames below and I’ll follow!

And if you’re feeling nice, please give me a follow too 🙂

My username is: @mindspeaksaloud 

(They wouldn’t let me use my whole name because it was too long… I know, it sucks)

Do you Spend 90% of Your Time Indoors?

A couple of days ago my friend Dyspraxia Diaries 101 send me a video of a TV Ad (link below) and I was so inspired by it that I could not help but come here to express how amazing it is.

To give a brief overview, it is about “The Indoor Generation” and how, as we’ve grown older, the outdoors has been replaced more and more by the indoors. Apparently, we spend 90% of our time indoors, which is completely insane. Why do we not appreciate the outdoors as much as we used to?

It’s fairly obvious that the increase in technology is a huge factor in this. Because kids are given phones and iPads at such a young age, they replace going outside with gaming apps or watching TV. Even I am guilty of watching Netflix on a sunny day instead of going outside.

Watching the Ad made me feel sad, particularly for children, that their lives don’t involve the kind of outdoor fun and games I used to enjoy as a child. It’s hindering their use of imagination and the ability to appreciate what is already in front of us in nature – something that doesn’t involve money or hard work to achieve, something that just is.

My favourite line from the advertisement was this:

“We try our best to replicate nature everywhere because it somehow makes us feel better.

But it’s not the same.”

This is so damn powerful. We build fake grass indoors and watch nature programmes and convince ourselves that we don’t need to see the real thing. But we do. We really do. There is nothing more rewarding than just walking amongst nature and actually having time to breathe, and to really listen to the world around us.

Should you spend more time outdoors?

3 year blogging anniversary!

So today I was really excited to find out that I’ve been blogging for 3 whole years now! If you’d asked me on the 8th May 2016 whether I would still be blogging in 2019, I probably would have thought: woahh that’s so far ahead and would take a lot of dedication. Somehow, I’ve made it!

Honestly, starting up a blog was the best decision I ever made. It has become such a huge part of my life that I can’t imagine not doing it. How else would I share all the thoughts roaming around inside my head?

It was only recently that I posted about reaching 500 followers. Considering my blog has always been a chilled out place for me, with no intention of creating a huge audience, 500 followers in 3 years I’d say is pretty mad. But not as insane as these stats:

 

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How I’ve managed to accumulate over 11,000 views and 5,000 visitors is completely beyond me??

Something that always gives me a purpose in life is knowing that I can make a difference to people’s lives, whether that is making them happy or giving them advice or simply providing an interesting conversation. Looking at my blog stats reminds me that I do this all the time simply by blogging my thoughts; I’m putting my words out there for you guys to read and it makes a slight difference to your day, even if it’s small. And that really makes me so happy and proud.

Do You Let the World Make an Impression on You?

Today, I was reading an interview with the author Claire-Louise Bennett about her book Pond and this line really stood out to me: ‘In solitude you don’t need to make an impression on the world, so the world has some opportunity to make an impression on you.’ 

I’ve thought a lot about solitude before and how it helps me face my raw emotions and the way I feel about things, as well as tackling them face on rather than distracting myself. I’ve never thought if it in terms of the world itself though.

As natural people-pleasers, humans have a tendency to make impressions on the world all the time because we are constantly trying to please or fit in with others. You can be the most confident person in your own skin and yet there’s still times when you conform to society or hold back your opinion for whatever reason. In solitude, it is true that the world can now make an impression on you because you’ve finally given it space. You’ve finally stopped trying to impress everyone else and you’ve finally become aware of yourself, your surroundings and what’s going on around you. This is the moment when you start noticing the way the bird chirps in a kind of excited but monotonous way, or the low buzzing of the laptop as it lies on standby. This is when you suddenly notice everything you’ve always seen but in an unfamiliar way – perhaps a more rational way.

Here’s a list of things that I think are great ways to let the world make an impression on you:

  1. Meditation – it gives you space to breathe in your environment and release your emotions and thoughts.
  2. Going for a walk (alone) – Although this causes my mind to run wild with thoughts, it also helps me notice how beautiful nature is.
  3. Listening to music – It diverts your attention away from everything else, into a new world with new sounds and new voices and new words.
  4. Sleep – Although you’re unaware of your surroundings whilst you sleep, when you wake up you feel refreshed and the world has a new chance at making an impression on you, almost like a blank slate of a day.

 

What do you think? How do you let the world make an impression on you?

It’s Impossible to Imagine a New Colour – Or Is It?

I’ve been holding onto this idea for a while, waiting for the right moment to share my thoughts on it and to hear all of yours too.

It’s so weird that we have all these colours in our life. We think about colour a lot: when we answer the question ‘what is your favourite colour?’ or pick out our outfit for the day or notice the sunset in the evening. We think about colour and yet do we really think about colour at all?

I remember a while back in secondary school, we talked about how colour could be subjective. I have a particular vision of what red is, but red might look completely different to someone else, yet we have both come to know it as red since this is what we are taught. My friend could point at yellow and say this is yellow, but her version of yellow might look like my version of purple. How would I even know?

To take this even further, I find it intriguing how colour seems infinite (since you can mix multiple colours together to make new colours) and yet all those new colours are still colours that exist. It isn’t possible to create a colour that doesn’t exist – or is it?

This is something I’m not sure I have the answer to – does anyone? But I would love to know what you all think so please leave your thoughts in the comments!

500 followers!! ( + have your say in my future blog posts!)

I realised the other day that I was a few followers away from reaching 500 (insane or what?!). I always write a post whenever I reach a milestone of an extra 100 so I thought, what should I write about? And then I thought, what do you want me to write about?

I cannot thank you all enough for the support I get on this blog, especially since I’ve always written about what makes me happy, regardless of whether it is popular or not (which is something I always hope to stick by). But for a change, I want to write what you guys want.

If you’d like to take part, please leave a comment with something you would like to see me write about, whether that is a poem on a specific topic, my opinion on a particular matter or advice on something. I can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

6 Ways to Switch Up the Way You Study (check out my first article!!)

I am super excited because my first article for the Graduate Recruitment Bureau’s blog was published today!! It’s not often I connect this blog to my life outside of the written world, but I feel like my confidence has grown so much since starting this blog that I’m no longer afraid for you guys to see the real me behind the page (or at least some of it).

The link to the article I’ve written is below and I really hope that it is useful for any of you who are also studying at university. Please let me know your thoughts 🙂

https://www.grb.uk.com/blog/6-ways-to-switch-up-the-way-you-study