When was the last time you truly believed in yourself?
When was the last time you had complete faith in what you were doing and where you would end up?
The truth is: a lot of us struggle with belief, whether we like to admit to it or not. Whether we are super confident or quiet in nature, we often get that niggling doubt that seeps in at any given moment. It’s like something is sitting on our shoulder telling us that we could be wrong. Sometimes we give in to it more than we should. Sometimes we let it control our lives.
But we don’t have to.
If I was to explain what it felt like to have complete faith in myself, I don’t think I could explain it. I don’t think any of us could. I don’t think anyone on this earth has ever been 100% certain of what they’re doing 100% of the time. We all have doubts.
However, I think to live the life you want to live, you can come close to it. You can work at self-belief to the point where, yes, you still have those moments of doubt, but you’re better at tuning in to the process, at ignoring that negative self-talk and at having confidence in yourself as a unique being.
We’re all on a journey of self-belief, whether we realise it or not, and I’d like to share some actionable steps for how you can become more confident in your ability to simply be you!
Practice Positive Self-Talk
This is the most important step you can take towards working on self-belief, but, unfortunately, it’s also the most difficult! With our brains working at a hundred miles per hour all of the time, it’s not an easy task to control our thoughts. Sometimes we may feel like they are, in fact, controlling us.
Practicing positive self-talk is the best method of eliminating negativity and all the emotions that appear alongside it. It’s something I’ve been working on personally over the past year, and I can say from experience that it helps enormously. However, you can’t expect to make the jump overnight; it takes time.
Try these two methods of practicing positive self-talk:
- Positive Affirmations – Speak positive phrases out loud to yourself in front of the mirror (or mime them, if you’re worried about anyone hearing!) – “I am successful, I am confident, I can do this” etc. It feels super strange and unnatural at first, and will most likely make you cringe, but it is a great way of securing positive words into your thoughts. The more you say them, the more you believe them.
- Reframe Negative Self-Talk – Every time you notice yourself speaking about a situation, a person or yourself in a negative light, reframe it. Change your perspective to the positive/realistic side of the situation. For example, instead of beating yourself up for getting something wrong at work, remind yourself that you’re human, that it’s okay, that it’s a learning curve for the future.
Remember Your Achievements
Often, in life, we forget about all of the amazing things we’ve done. We’re constantly pressured by society and education into thinking about the future – what we’re going to do next – that we forget about everything that came before that. As a result, we often gloss over our achievements.
TASK: Try writing down all of your achievements (both big and small!) It could be as simple as starting a new hobby, to as great as getting a promotion! At first, you may think the list will be small, but you’ll be surprised at how many things you have achieved. And it’ll motivate you to go out and do more too!
Embrace Your Unique Self
Sometimes, it’s really difficult to accept ourselves for who we are. In a world of constant comparisons, we often define our value based on other people – whether that’s how we view them, what they say about us, or what we think they think! At the end of the day, it’s only about perspective – and this is changeable!
TASK: Challenge yourself to write a list of your best qualities. These are qualities that matter throughout your life, that are consistent and at the core of who you are as a person. It could be kindness, a good sense of humour, intelligence or modesty. These qualities are the reason you excel in communicating with those close to you.
Many of us struggle praising ourselves, but it is only when we acknowledge our strengths that we can have true belief in who we are. Ask family and friends to help you if you’re feeling stuck. There are so many good things about every single person on this planet. You are no exception.
What steps do you take (or want to take) to help you believe in yourself?
Feel free to share your experience and/or tips in the comments below!