walking. [flash fiction]

sometimes I walk and I feel immersed in nature, picking up leaves in my mind and admiring the breeze as it carries people on their separate journeys. Other times, I can’t seem to get out of my head. Everytime I focus on the outside world my mind internalises my thoughts until I forget where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going. I guess the brain is clever in that way; it does what it wants to do. And all we can do is try our best to control it in the right direction.

Two INFJ’s Compare Answers About Their Lives

Hey! Welcome to a collab post all about INFJ’s! We thought we’d create this to share more about this specific personality type (find out your type by taking the quiz here) and also to prove how the same personality type can cause morals and hobbies to overlap, since we have a lot of similar answers here! Hope you find this interesting, and let us know your thoughts (and your personality type!) in the comments.

A = Alice (me)

M = Milly (fellow INFJ)

Check out Milly’s blog here.

What’s your ideal day?

A: my ideal day would be spending time with a few close friends – going out and exploring new places and cafes/restaurants to eat. Maybe playing a few board games later and then having a chill evening watching a movie with popcorn.

M: I love being by myself so probably reading or watching a good TV Series or Movie and writing.

What’s the most introverted thing about you?

A: Probably the fact that I can sit at home for hours on end by myself and never be bored. Like I just have so many thoughts and things I love doing that require time alone – writing, blogging, reading, cooking, tv/films, etc.

M: The fact that I’m better off being alone than with other people. Pretty much the same as Alice’s answer.

When was your last birthday and how did you celebrate?

A: My birthday was on the 13th October. I had a pre-birthday get together with some close friends over summer (before everyone went their separate ways to uni/work). We had a board game day, went out for a Chinese meal, watched a film and then they stayed over. On my actual birthday I went shopping with my Mum, bought too much, and ate more chinese food.

M: My birthday was on the 13th of October as well. I spend my day with my mom and grandma. We ordered Chinese food for dinner and before that I cut a cake and it was actually the 3rd time in 20 years I had a cake for my birthday. I had a post-birthday get together with my two friends and we watched a movie and spent the rest of the day at a park.

If you could describe a scenario that sums up the entire infj personality, what would you say?

A: A girl/boy having a conversation with another person. They are simultaneously excited that they’re actually successfully speaking to a stranger, whilst also wishing it was more than small talk, whilst also overthinking everything they’re saying, whilst also reacting with the exact right emotion because they feel everything the other person is feeling, whilst also thinking about some other thing that happened at some random time in the past that’s irrelevant, whilst also planning how they are going to do certain future things in advance, whilst also figuring out who the person they’re speaking to is really like (deep down), whilst also attentively listening. and taking it all in. somehow.

M: Same as Alice 😂

What is your ultimate goal/motivation in life?

A: To be happy and to make others happy 🙂

M: To inspire others to embrace themselves the way they are.

What is your favourite trait about yourself? 

A: My favourite trait about myself is my empathy – my ability to feel how someone else is feeling, regardless of whether I’ve experienced the same situation as them or not. It can make life a bit exhausting and draining, but it’s what connects me to others so well. It means I give great advice and support.

M: I have a very few close friends but there are a lot of people I know and one common thing they say about me is that I’m a good therapist so I guess that’s my favorite trait – being a good listener and giving good advices.

What other personality types do you get on well with? Why do you think that is?

A: The people I am closest with are ENFP, INFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ, INFP, ISTJ, INTJ and ESFJ. There is mostly an intuitive (“N”) theme going on – I get along better with people who think in this way for sure! I like a mix of extrovert & introvert – extroverts bring me out of my shell but introverts embrace the side of me that just wants to chill out.

M: INFPs, ISFPs, INFJs, ISTJs. Through the traits vary from person to person, these are the types that I like hanging out with or talking to because their interests and mine are somewhat similar.

What genre of TV Shows or Movies do you like watching?

A: I will watch most genres, but my favourites are comedy, thriller (especially psychological ones), animated/cartoons and dystopian.

M: I love thrillers/mystery, rom-com and period drama. I also enjoy Sci-Fi.

What are some of the movements that are close to your heart? (Example: Climate Change, Feminism)

A: I’m very passionate about equality. One of my pet peeves is when people make stereotypical and sexist statements such as females being the cleaner of the family, or men bringing in all the money. We’re all equal and should have the power to be whoever we want to be. I’m also super passionate about supporting mental health – I write a lot about positivity and self care on my blog. Recently, I’ve also been trying harder to reduce plastic usage and recycling everything I can.

M: Besides being a Feminist, I’m also a Mental Health and Body Positivity advocate. I believe that these are the three things that we need to change in order to live in peace and be actually happy in life. Climate Change is a cause that I feel like everyone nowadays should be devoting their time too or the end of world might be near. As much as I love the movie 2012 or the TV Show The 100, I would want them to stay fiction and not turn into reality.

What is the first thing you notice in a person?

A: The first thing I notice about someone is their eyes – I think you can tell a lot from someone’s eyes. But also the person’s aura/vibe.

M: Physically, their eyes. While in a conversation, I see if someone’s an open book or Mysterious.

What are your thoughts on Small Talk?

A: I would much prefer to have deep/meaningful conversations than small talk! But I can tolerate it in moments where it’s necessary.

M: Absolutely hate it. It’s exhausting. I like meaningful conversations.

If you could spend an entire day with anyone, who would it be?

A: This is a difficult one to answer because I’ve never really been the kind of person to idolise celebrities much. I think I would pick someone like Matt Haig – he’s my favourite author and I’d love to know more about how he wrote his books, his battle with mental health, and just more about him as a person. He may not be a huge celebrity, but I think his story is really inspiring and his books have had a huge impact in my life.

M: This is actually a difficult one to answer because there are so many famous personalities that I’d like to meet and talk to but if I had to choose just one I’d say Taylor Swift. I’ve been listening to her music since I was 9 and it’s been a decade now that she’s my favorite. She is very generous, inspiring and a beautiful human being and I really hope that I meet her someday and tell her exactly how grateful I am in person.

I hope you all found this collab post interesting! It was really fun writing it alongside fellow INFJ Milly. I’m planning on publishing another INFJ post soon that I wrote before I started on this one, so look out for that! If anyone has suggestions for personality posts they’d like to see, let me know in the comments. And don’t forget to let us know your personality type too!

You can find me on social media here:

Instagram: @mymindspeaksaloud

Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud

How Would You Define Anxiety?

I have recently finished reading How to Survive the End of the World by Aaron Gillies (@technicallyron) which gave a really interesting insight into dealing with anxiety. Whilst researching for the book, he asked various people “How would you define anxiety?” At the end, he asks the reader to write their definitions in the front of their edition of the book.

I think this is such a super interesting question because people explain it in different ways. Here are some definitions that I’ve come up with, based on my personal experiences. Please feel free to share yours in the comments.

Anxiety is worrying excessively over something that you know is completely irrational, and yet your body won’t listen.

Anxiety is the fight between needing to escape and wanting to stay – escaping the panic but afraid of being left alone to think.

Anxiety is feeling like the edges of the world are the sphere of your skull; everyone else is on another planet that you can’t quite escape to.

Anxiety is the worm at the back of your mind; sometimes it’s buried within the apple and you can pretend it’s not there, but when it comes back up you can’t help but notice.

Anxiety is sitting out a blazing fight inside your head whilst seemingly calm on the outside.

Anxiety is pretending to be confident so much that others eventually believe you, but you know you can never believe it yourself.

Anxiety is waiting for the next train and it being delayed and rushing to another platform and rushing back to the previous platform and then finding out there were no trains after all and it was all pointless. You could have taken a taxi but your mind doesn’t like the easy route.

Anxiety is smiling and crying at the same time. No one else notices and sometimes you don’t even notice yourself.

This week is Mental Health Awareness week so I thought it was a good time to share these thoughts. I’m feeling great at the moment and a lot happier than I was a year ago so I really wanted to share this post to help those who may be in the place I was last year. If you feel like these relate to you, it may be worth considering talking to someone about it – whether that is a family member, a friend, or a doctor. It’s not a weakness to put your hands up and say “hey, this sounds like me”. These words define anxiety, but they don’t define you.

You can view my other posts for Mental Health Awareness week here:

help me see the real me. [poem]

My Views on Body Image

Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud

Instagram: @mymindspeaksaloud

It’s Impossible to Imagine a New Colour – Or Is It?

I’ve been holding onto this idea for a while, waiting for the right moment to share my thoughts on it and to hear all of yours too.

It’s so weird that we have all these colours in our life. We think about colour a lot: when we answer the question ‘what is your favourite colour?’ or pick out our outfit for the day or notice the sunset in the evening. We think about colour and yet do we really think about colour at all?

I remember a while back in secondary school, we talked about how colour could be subjective. I have a particular vision of what red is, but red might look completely different to someone else, yet we have both come to know it as red since this is what we are taught. My friend could point at yellow and say this is yellow, but her version of yellow might look like my version of purple. How would I even know?

To take this even further, I find it intriguing how colour seems infinite (since you can mix multiple colours together to make new colours) and yet all those new colours are still colours that exist. It isn’t possible to create a colour that doesn’t exist – or is it?

This is something I’m not sure I have the answer to – does anyone? But I would love to know what you all think so please leave your thoughts in the comments!

anxiety in the mirror. [poem]

seventeenth prompt: body as friend (or foe). this is a kind of poem/spoken word/speech all mixed into one. it is important to remember that anyone can suffer, regardless of how they look, their background or how happy they seem.

you look in the mirror

at the shape of your hair

and your distant eyes

you memorise the way your spots connect

and the slight tilt of your smile

(that doesn’t quite feel real).

and you don’t feel like yourself.

you don’t look how you feel

and you don’t know how to feel.

your body acts as an enemy

that doesn’t suit your insides

so you feel like you’re not worthy

of feeling those emotions.

but that’s not true.

that’s not true.

your body should not stop you

from accepting your situation.

your body is your friend.

let me free. [flash fiction]

fifth prompt: back to nature.

the walls aren’t nice to me. I want them to be but they like my thoughts too much. I lie in bed and watch them bounce from one side to the other. sometimes they fall to the ground and then bounce right back up to the sky – yet the ceiling stops them. and so sometimes I have to go outside. I have to stand somewhere and let all of those thoughts go. there are no walls to bounce them back to me. there are no walls to imprison me. I let the bad thoughts fly back to nature and there I am – I am free.

anxiety. [poem]

fourth prompt: anxiety.

I call out to you in the crowd

and I’m shaking.

I whisper a word

and I’m breaking.

it doesn’t matter what I say

I’m taking

longer to deal with the pain

I’m aching.

you see to you I’m just another quiet one,

and I’ve come to know that anxiety doesn’t let me belong.

I want to be confident with those around me

whilst not feeling like another me

one day you will see me.

one day

you will

really see

me

‘Why Am I Like This?’ by Orla Gartland [Music Review]

“Maybe I’m an old soul trapped in a young body
Maybe you don’t really want me there at your birthday party
I’ll be there in the corner, thinking right over
Every single word of the conversation we just had

So why am I like this?”

As I’ve mentioned before in my post here, I am a huge fan of the singer Orla Gartland. I’ve been into her music for at least 5 years now, but I’ve never loved her music as much as I do right now. Similar to her song ‘Overthinking’, ‘Why Am I Like This?’ also tackles the subject of anxiety and I think that’s part of the reason why I feel so connected to it; the lyrics really speak to me.

Whilst it’s nice to have upbeat songs, I really admire artists who write, produce and perform music in such a raw state – with just them and an instrument. All the power and emotion remains in the voice and it’s often when you can tell how much music really means to someone – you can hear it in their tone and see it in their expression. Orla is someone who has such a great vibe when singing live – I haven’t actually seen her in concert (one day I will!) but her YouTube videos alone prove that she doesn’t need a mass of production and auto tune to be a great singer. She has an honest and humble talent that’s rare to see and that’s why I will forever give her shout outs on this blog because I really think she deserves it.

You can listen to either the stripped back acoustic version below, the produced version underneath it, or the original YouTube video underneath that!