I Asked 17 People What Happiness Means to Them…

A while ago, I was on Instagram and I was inspired by a post that said “Happiness is…” – I turned to my Mum and asked her what her answer would be, and found that it was completely different to my own. Whilst I answered with an abstract definition, my Mum answered with a real-life concrete example. It made me wonder what everyone else would make of this question.

So, on my quest to figure out different people’s thinking processes, I asked people I know to answer the question too, with the first thought that popped into their head!

At first, I thought about the Myers Briggs personality type – would intuitives be more likely to reply with an abstract answer, and sensors with an example grounded in real life? However, I found there wasn’t a pattern at all, and both overlapped one another.

I found it so interesting listening to everybody’s answers and I think it’s also a great way of learning more about others and the way that they think. So, here is a list of all the answers I received!

I hope it brings a little more happiness to your day!

Happiness is when you are accepting and at peace with yourself and the world around you.

Happiness is walking in nature.

Happiness is being content with what you have in this world and being the best version of yourself.

Happiness is pets.

Happiness is peace.

Happiness is good.

Happiness is to forget about the world and just concentrate on dancing, creating art with the flow of your body to music.

Happiness is travel.

Happiness is freedom and laughter, being lost in a moment where all you feel and all you are is in the present moment.

Happiness is hope.

Happiness is spending time with friends and family and being grateful for what you have.

Happiness is a choice.

Happiness is feeling loved, feeling like you have enough and are enough.

Happiness is when you find beauty in the simple things of life, when you put love of nature before your own desires.

Happiness is seeing your children happy.

Happiness is contentment, a treasure buried inside of you, waiting to be found within.

Happiness is hugs.

Happiness is happiness.

I hope you found it interesting reading everyone’s answers!

I’d love to make this into a series with more fill-in-the-gap questions, so let me know if you’d be interested in reading this kind of post again, or feel free to suggest future questions!

And don’t forget to leave your own definition of happiness in the comments below – I’d love to hear it!

Contradictions of the INFJ Personality Type!

I thought I would write a post today about something I find super interesting – the Myers Briggs personality test! It involves answering a number of questions to determine what kind of personality type you are.

There’s been a lot of research on this so it’s more than just your average Buzzfeed quiz (although I do really love Buzzfeed quizzes). Ever since I came across it, I’ve found it to be so accurate, for both my own personality and in terms of people I know. It is easy to be mistyped and end up with a personality that is not true for you, but once you’ve got the correct one, it feels like you’re reading a diary entry from inside your brain that’s been broadcasted all over the internet for everyone to see. It really did blow my mind.

The main reason why I love this personality test is because it’s a great way to accept and understand yourself, but also learn to tolerate and understand other people too. Not everyone is the same as you and sometimes knowing the intentions behind someone’s actions can be reassuring and enlightening.

As the title suggests, I am an INFJ. I thought it would be interesting to share the paradox that is this personality type because I often feel like I’m the most confusing person – even to myself. If you’re an INFJ, it’s likely you’ll relate. If you’re not, maybe it’ll help you understand an INFJ friend.

You can check out my other blog post, where two INFJ’s compare their lives, here.


I’m social yet antisocial at the same time

This is definitely the most confusing aspect of me. I’m the kind of person you can find in bed at home watching a movie with a hot chocolate and refusing to leave the house, but I’m also the kind of person who will join lots of clubs to meet new people and make friends. I seem to jump from one end straight to the other, socialising when I feel energetic and motivated and then “recovering” by removing myself from people for a day.


I’m an extroverted introvert

There’s no denying that I’m an introvert – I can easily go hours without talking to anyone and socialising tires me out – but it seems that with some people I do mould into an extrovert. When I’m around people I’m close with, they see a more outgoing side of me because I don’t need to be fearful of holding anything back – I trust them. I also have moments of being an extrovert when it comes to meeting new people – initiating conversations, asking questions – but it all depends on my mood. If I’m speaking to an extrovert I automatically take backseat, especially when I’m drowned out by a group of extroverts, but if I’m speaking to a quiet introvert I somehow evolve into an extrovert to make up for the role. Sometimes I even confuse myself with how I can be outgoing one minute and quiet the next. I think it confuses people because those who see me as quiet are surprised when I’m chatty, and those who see me as chatty are surprised when I’m quiet. I guess I’m just very selective with who I am social with – some people I could socialise with for hours or days and not get drained, whereas others I have to take a time out.


I hate attention yet I want to be seen

I absolutely hate attention. At school, my friends used to try and convince me to wear a badge on my birthday so everyone would know, but I refused to. If you start to sing happy birthday to me in a restaurant, I would probably run out the room. The idea of someone staring at me too long just freaks me out. And yet at the same time, I want for people to see and understand me. I try and explain myself a lot (for fear of being misunderstood as someone that I’m not), but sometimes I just want people to pay attention and understand/appreciate my perspective.


I’m happy but I’m sad

I feel like my whole life has been me trying to make sense of the happiness and sadness in my brain. I can honestly say that right now in my life is the happiest I’ve ever been, but despite this, I still always feel this inner nudging of sadness that seems to spill over the edges at any given time. And sometimes it even seems like I want it to, as if I want to feel it to know it’s still there. And I don’t understand it. I can be happy all the time and yet as soon as I go for a walk in the dark I’m whipping out the sad music and living in my own little world for a while. It’s a weird comfort. I’ve always been drawn to sadness, even when I’m happy – in music, in films, in TV shows – and I can never really explain why, except that it’s just real.


I help others but I don’t help myself

This has honestly been such a huge downfall in my life. I’ve always put other people first – going out of my way to give advice, to be a shoulder to cry on, to do anything I can to make people feel just a slightly bit better – and my own mind and body was neglected a lot during this process. It is only now that I’m beginning to change this. Why should someone listen to my advice if I don’t even follow my own advice? This may be an INFJ contradiction but it is one of the few contradictions that I can actually change.


I seem calm but inside I’m a storm

When you imagine an anxious person you may think of someone tapping their foot or pacing the room or sweating profusely. Sometimes, the times I am most anxious I am completely still – you wouldn’t even know. I think this is what makes it so hard for me to open up sometimes, because it may seem like I’m pretending since I seem so “together”, but I just have an inner world that is so much more alive than what is perceived from the outside.


So that’s a bit of insight into the life of an INFJ!

I’d love to know what personality type you are – comment below!

And you can find me on social media here:

Instagram: @mymindspeaksaloud

Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud

Two INFJ’s Compare Answers About Their Lives

Hey! Welcome to a collab post all about INFJ’s! We thought we’d create this to share more about this specific personality type (find out your type by taking the quiz here) and also to prove how the same personality type can cause morals and hobbies to overlap, since we have a lot of similar answers here! Hope you find this interesting, and let us know your thoughts (and your personality type!) in the comments.

A = Alice (me)

M = Milly (fellow INFJ)

Check out Milly’s blog here.

What’s your ideal day?

A: my ideal day would be spending time with a few close friends – going out and exploring new places and cafes/restaurants to eat. Maybe playing a few board games later and then having a chill evening watching a movie with popcorn.

M: I love being by myself so probably reading or watching a good TV Series or Movie and writing.

What’s the most introverted thing about you?

A: Probably the fact that I can sit at home for hours on end by myself and never be bored. Like I just have so many thoughts and things I love doing that require time alone – writing, blogging, reading, cooking, tv/films, etc.

M: The fact that I’m better off being alone than with other people. Pretty much the same as Alice’s answer.

When was your last birthday and how did you celebrate?

A: My birthday was on the 13th October. I had a pre-birthday get together with some close friends over summer (before everyone went their separate ways to uni/work). We had a board game day, went out for a Chinese meal, watched a film and then they stayed over. On my actual birthday I went shopping with my Mum, bought too much, and ate more chinese food.

M: My birthday was on the 13th of October as well. I spend my day with my mom and grandma. We ordered Chinese food for dinner and before that I cut a cake and it was actually the 3rd time in 20 years I had a cake for my birthday. I had a post-birthday get together with my two friends and we watched a movie and spent the rest of the day at a park.

If you could describe a scenario that sums up the entire infj personality, what would you say?

A: A girl/boy having a conversation with another person. They are simultaneously excited that they’re actually successfully speaking to a stranger, whilst also wishing it was more than small talk, whilst also overthinking everything they’re saying, whilst also reacting with the exact right emotion because they feel everything the other person is feeling, whilst also thinking about some other thing that happened at some random time in the past that’s irrelevant, whilst also planning how they are going to do certain future things in advance, whilst also figuring out who the person they’re speaking to is really like (deep down), whilst also attentively listening. and taking it all in. somehow.

M: Same as Alice 😂

What is your ultimate goal/motivation in life?

A: To be happy and to make others happy 🙂

M: To inspire others to embrace themselves the way they are.

What is your favourite trait about yourself? 

A: My favourite trait about myself is my empathy – my ability to feel how someone else is feeling, regardless of whether I’ve experienced the same situation as them or not. It can make life a bit exhausting and draining, but it’s what connects me to others so well. It means I give great advice and support.

M: I have a very few close friends but there are a lot of people I know and one common thing they say about me is that I’m a good therapist so I guess that’s my favorite trait – being a good listener and giving good advices.

What other personality types do you get on well with? Why do you think that is?

A: The people I am closest with are ENFP, INFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ, INFP, ISTJ, INTJ and ESFJ. There is mostly an intuitive (“N”) theme going on – I get along better with people who think in this way for sure! I like a mix of extrovert & introvert – extroverts bring me out of my shell but introverts embrace the side of me that just wants to chill out.

M: INFPs, ISFPs, INFJs, ISTJs. Through the traits vary from person to person, these are the types that I like hanging out with or talking to because their interests and mine are somewhat similar.

What genre of TV Shows or Movies do you like watching?

A: I will watch most genres, but my favourites are comedy, thriller (especially psychological ones), animated/cartoons and dystopian.

M: I love thrillers/mystery, rom-com and period drama. I also enjoy Sci-Fi.

What are some of the movements that are close to your heart? (Example: Climate Change, Feminism)

A: I’m very passionate about equality. One of my pet peeves is when people make stereotypical and sexist statements such as females being the cleaner of the family, or men bringing in all the money. We’re all equal and should have the power to be whoever we want to be. I’m also super passionate about supporting mental health – I write a lot about positivity and self care on my blog. Recently, I’ve also been trying harder to reduce plastic usage and recycling everything I can.

M: Besides being a Feminist, I’m also a Mental Health and Body Positivity advocate. I believe that these are the three things that we need to change in order to live in peace and be actually happy in life. Climate Change is a cause that I feel like everyone nowadays should be devoting their time too or the end of world might be near. As much as I love the movie 2012 or the TV Show The 100, I would want them to stay fiction and not turn into reality.

What is the first thing you notice in a person?

A: The first thing I notice about someone is their eyes – I think you can tell a lot from someone’s eyes. But also the person’s aura/vibe.

M: Physically, their eyes. While in a conversation, I see if someone’s an open book or Mysterious.

What are your thoughts on Small Talk?

A: I would much prefer to have deep/meaningful conversations than small talk! But I can tolerate it in moments where it’s necessary.

M: Absolutely hate it. It’s exhausting. I like meaningful conversations.

If you could spend an entire day with anyone, who would it be?

A: This is a difficult one to answer because I’ve never really been the kind of person to idolise celebrities much. I think I would pick someone like Matt Haig – he’s my favourite author and I’d love to know more about how he wrote his books, his battle with mental health, and just more about him as a person. He may not be a huge celebrity, but I think his story is really inspiring and his books have had a huge impact in my life.

M: This is actually a difficult one to answer because there are so many famous personalities that I’d like to meet and talk to but if I had to choose just one I’d say Taylor Swift. I’ve been listening to her music since I was 9 and it’s been a decade now that she’s my favorite. She is very generous, inspiring and a beautiful human being and I really hope that I meet her someday and tell her exactly how grateful I am in person.

I hope you all found this collab post interesting! It was really fun writing it alongside fellow INFJ Milly. I’m planning on publishing another INFJ post soon that I wrote before I started on this one, so look out for that! If anyone has suggestions for personality posts they’d like to see, let me know in the comments. And don’t forget to let us know your personality type too!

You can find me on social media here:

Instagram: @mymindspeaksaloud

Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud