I never give half of my heart to anything. [poem]

I never give half of my heart to

anything.

stitched up like a blanket

it protects itself,

bounded together

so whole it can’t be

broken.

 

(if given away,

it is swallowed whole)

 

the stitches do not come undone

because I do not love things in

parts.

I could not love anything in

parts because what would be the

point of loving at all?

 

you’d think the strength of my heart

would keep me safe;

it only means that sometimes

I have a heart full of

all the sunshine in the world

and other times

I don’t have a heart at all.

 

(given away too much)

 

then, I sit and wait.

 

 

wait for it to come back.

 

 

meaning behind this poem:

whenever I invest in something, whether that is a friendship or a hobby or giving advice, I always go into it with my whole heart. this is what produces some of my best creativity and best connections (like my decision to invest time in this blog!) but it also means I’m easily hurt when things go wrong. feeling in extremes means I sometimes have to distance myself from things/situations to prevent a drop in emotions which sometimes is super hard to explain to people! (because it seems like I don’t care, when in reality I care too much). however it’s part of who I am, and I’m learning to accept the fact that being sensitive is a good thing.

You can view the photo alongside this poem over at my instagram here: @mymindspeaksaloud

Alternatively, you can find me on Twitter: @mindspeaksaloud

 

oh take me. [poem]

I wrote this poem a while ago, about being trapped in the present and yearning for freedom. It is written from a point of passivity where the narrator hopes something other than herself will give her freedom. But the only person who can free you from your struggles is yourself. And if you want freedom enough, you will create it.

take me take me oh take me

the wind teases at my hair.

I let my feet hop off the pavement

and fly fly

oh please fly

I wish the sky would take me.

the view above like a map

pick me up, me up

a pin on a board

I don’t want to be here

move me elsewhere.

it is easy to change

where I am where I am

oh take me…

I am hammered too far

into this earth.

 

the fire inside. [flash fiction]

I can feel the heat rise from my toes. simmering, simmering. it leaks into my veins as it travels and travels from hair to hair to freckle to freckle to ground to head. it can be said this is what it is like to be fire. this is what it is like to be set alight from the inside out. I’m an ice cube to you I can see it in your eyes but I won’t let it make me feel wrong this time. I can feel it. the simmering may seem like it started in my toes, but it started in my heart. the match you lit with your words fell down my throat, smoke constricting, and you can’t get that back. try reaching into my body. I won’t let you. you’ll leave me walking smoke trails and by the time you want to follow me the smoke will be gone. I will be gone.

I can feel the heat rise from my toes.

simmering, simmering.

never let that heat rise from your own.

across the waters. [poem]

I blow quietly

across the waters

waves of tea rippling across

the mug’s ocean, it’s mine.

it feels like I have power over

something more than I own

it is a release

to create peace

in a world beneath the surface.

I blow quietly

across the waters

and eventually it will all ripple away.

sleep: why won’t you take me? [flash fiction: part 2]

I cast the light over my skin like a setting sun. it gives birth to the night and it gives birth to my mind. I pull words out of my head like stars on string, falling to the ground with no control. they are layered and layered it’s hard to say that they’re broken. it’s hard to say that the night isn’t quite as perfect as a crescent moon and constellations. the moon inside me is jagged and misshapen and the stars haven’t quite found each other yet. when the light in my room dims, my body parts float into a darkened haze until I’m just one with the shadows. that’s when I know the night has taken me, but that’s also when I know that the rising sun is looming. with the snap of an eyelid, I’ll wake up to more light than I’ve ever seen before.

 

inspired by knowing I have to accept those sleepless nights, reminding myself that there will be more light tomorrow

sleep: why won’t you take me? [flash fiction part 1]

give me the freedom to be myself again, I beg of you, whoever ‘you’ is, it is just nonsensical to me now. I write into the dark in the hope that it can hear me, but knowing the shadows won’t listen until I cast a light their way. don’t let me remain this way.

I say I am free to the demons of the night.

take me and I will venture forth on your journey.

 

inspired by the nights I lay awake, wondering why sleep won’t take me.

this is what it is like to exist. [poem]

This blog post was suggested by Lia! on the topic of: a poem on existing.

you shake your head at the world

but this is what it is like now

to live

to breathe

to walk the streets

and sometimes it may feel like

the curtains have drawn

and we’re laying to rest

behind broken stages

but existence is what we

make it to be

and what you decide you want

for you

and for me.

help me see the real me. [poem]

A few weeks ago I posted about reaching 500 followers and asked you to give me future blog post ideas. Sorry it has taken so long to write these posts but here is the first one! Suggested by ~Express1on~ is: a poem on acceptance/love of self. With it being mental health awareness week, I think this is the perfect time to post this, focusing on the theme of body image.

I look in the mirror

and sometimes I don’t know who I

see

to me

it’s another game of the mind.

I fall into reflections

perceptions

it can’t be true

you can’t see me

how I see you

it’s not

it’s not

true.

but the way you see my smile

is how it’s been for a while

but I was stuck

so stuck

in my ways

you try to say,

“look at yourself differently

look at yourself kindly

take your own hand

and guide me

show me how you see the world.”

and I show you how I see my world

and then you know

you know and you can help me

see the real me

the real me

not in the mirror

but in everything around me.

 

You can view my other posts for Mental Health Awareness week here:

How Would You Define Anxiety?

My Views on Body Image

don’t hold yourself back. [poem]

thirtieth prompt: catharsis. I think this is a great way to end this month of poetry, since this blog has been my catharsis and the way I release my emotions and inner thoughts. I hope you all enjoyed my writing 😊

I feel it rise

and rise

and rise

in me

crawling up my spine

and falling out my mouth

emotions locked inside

now released

at peace

released

into the world

and for the first time in my life

I don’t hold myself back